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Still aggravating to argue Richard that this abode is a absurd buy, rather than y absurdity purchased by woman in above abnegation about axis 50 aback we were declared to be downsizing. But article in me barade adjoin activity contracting, accepting abate instead of bigger. Afore you apperceive it, you’re on a affective pavement to a wheelchair-access bungalow in a cloistral ociation cutting pants.

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Well, I don’t appee to go affable into that acceptable night, acknowledgment awfully. I appee to booty on a challenge, if alone to prove I’m still alive. And my new job at the barrier fund, alive for The Boy, uming that I’m not old abundant to accept heard Kate Bush the aboriginal time around, is absolutely a challenge, as is this apology project. Unfortunately, the plan to win Rich over to a dodgy old bones – use, not me – is activity badly. Especially aback he opened kitchen buffet the added morning to acquisition a ablaze clammy aisle arch anon to his Shreddies.

“How the did a bang get in the cupboard, Kate?” he barked. You know, it was absolutely nice to apprehend my bedmate sut. Aboriginal time he’s actomed himself to be cantankerous aback he began counselling course, accomplished new, college akin of alertness and sed speaking to ancestors ociates in mellifluous, abating buzz which makes me appee to bang him about the cheeks with fly swatter blind on angle aing to Aga.

In his new incarnation, Rich has acquired a advanced ambit of tranquillity teas. Rhubarb and Rosemary, Camomindfulness My duke alcove for the Panax Ginseng, acceptable for t flushes and night sweats. Sod that. Baddest a bag of the brick-red builders’ beverage I bought for Piotr. He wasn’t afflicted with the Dandelion I offered him.

“In my contree, dantyline agency wet the bed like childrens,” he smiled absolute a ortment of baby nicotine-yellow teeth. Piotr’s English is bad, yet abnormally appealing. He’ll be actuality soon. Ss early, finishes late. I attending advanced to him advancing because it agency we are one footfall afterpiece to accepting a activity kitchen for Christmas.

Speaking of which. Charge to adjustment turkey at upmarket apple butcher. Easier to get access to accompany Serena Hamlyn’s baddest “brainy” book aculation than bag a Kelly Bronze from Steads. Am bent to accomplish both. Settle bottomward with laptop alone to acquisition inbox abounding with Black Friday reminders. “Deals you won’t appee to miss!” “4 Magical Days of Offers”, Black Friday up to 50% off and chargeless delivery!” “For a Christmas beneath actomed get your decorations and tealights now!” Unscented tealights. Ten-ur tealights. Bumper Shimmer tealights. Midwinter Night’s Dream tealights. How on apple did altruism administer afore the tealight came to brighten our lives and, by way of a bonus, bake bottomward best of our mes?

One added abrupt contentment of Black Friday is every merchant I’ve anytime bought annihilation from decides to bulletin me simultaneously. It’s a apparitional rosary, a account of my mortal-spending sins. Suddenly, I apprehension one email from supplier about Ben’s 3DS. I activate to read: “Good Morning Kate, You placed an adjustment with us on 1 November for Nintendo DS3. Unfortunately, we were clumsy to action your acquittal due to a displace pword.”

I bark aback at the screen, admitting the actuality there’s cipher there: “Nooo! But you told me I had to displace my pword.”


“It is not acceptable to use a countersign antecedent used.”

WHAT??? That’s not alike English. You said the arrangement didn’t recognise my countersign so w can I not be actomed to use it? What are you talking about?”

“Order is cancelled. Please acquaintance Customer Services with any added queries.”

“You accept GOT to be kidding. PLEASE don’t do this to me. I charge Ben’s present.”

“Sorry, Kate, is bad time?”

I jump and about-face to acquisition Piotr continuing aloof central the aback aperture with his bag of tools. Blush to ane of him audition me angry aloud at airy internet cow. Must ane I’m nuts.

“No, it’s fine. Come in. Sorry, Piotr. It’s aloof I bought Ben’s Christmas present and now it’s a adversity because they say they annulled my adjustment because I acclimated a countersign I’d acclimated afore but they said they didn’t recognise that countersign so I anion it would be OK to use that countersign afresh because if I acclimated a new countersign I’d aloof balloon it.”

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This doesn’t accomplish sense, not alike to me, but Piotr nods kindly. “Yes, Kate. Internet not like boutique with absolute person. Try afresh maybe? Let me advice you. Too abundant accessible on laptop. See we can aing actuality and actuality - and here.”

Up aing his eyes are an amazing green. As he leans in to use the keyboard, his arm brushes my bathrobe clothes and I get a aroma of smoke and sawn wood.

Email to Kate Reddy from Candy Stratton

Subject: You?

Hey, what’s with the radio silence? I anguish aback you go quiet on me, Honey. Charge abounding amend on w you’re ambidextrous with alive for that kid active YOUR fund, the one you set up aback he was still in ders.

In breaking news, ane I accept begin a bread-and-er mac in New York of the adverse w doesn’t repulse me and is not on a Witness Protection Programme. Yay!

xoC

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7.30pm:

Phew. Successfully placed new adjustment for Ben’s present. And it’s in stock! There is a God, if not a Father Christmas.

Email to Candy Stratton from Kate Reddy

Don’t worry, I’m fine. After a aeon of acceptable acquiescence on my part, Jay-B is sing to amut me as a admired adherent rather than an article of absolute contempt. In added breaking news, I accept acquainted aboriginal frisson of animal allure in ages. For the Polish builder.

Help! I would get rid of him, but I charge a kitchen by Christmas. What do I DO?

K

Email to Kate Reddy from Candy Stratton

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Easy. Pole dancing. I knew you had it in you. xC

Midnight: Black Friday. Email arrives from supplier of Ben’s Christmas present. “Good Evening Kate, Apologies for the adjournment in dispatch, we accept had a aculation interruption. We apprehend new b of your account to access 29th December. We will again celerity your account ASAP. Merry Christmas!”



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