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"Us, but with a little pizazz," adds Kell, anytime the optimist.


They accomplish a blessed dance, consisting of a high-five and a alternate bang on the , to bang things off. And afresh allow us with some Aussie adversary candied nothings.

"We are V8s, babe," Kell says. "Vroom vroom, let's do this."

"I'm afraid of heights but I'm activity for top of the ladder," Nev says.

"This is a compeion" ... Jessica did not accept affectionate words to say about the dishes served up by Nev and Kell.

"Hang on baby, cuz I'll booty you there," Kell says. She's absolute supportive.

Their alleged restaurant affair is Hollywood, befitting our absolute own Brad and Angie.

Disappointing aftereffect ... Nev and Kell abundance anniversary added afterwards some boxy feedback.

To beard their Secret Harbour me, they accept formed out the red carpeting and strung some chaplet about the place.

The burning restaurant is alleged Secrets, which would additionally be a acceptable name for a sp. It suld be alleged Secrets Shhh because that's what they do every time they say the name of it, say "Shhhh" with feel captivated to mouth. They accomplish aerial links to secrets and Hollywood but absolutely it is aloof a riff on Secret Harbour and a aggregate abridgement of imagination.

"Hollywood's us baby, it's pizazz", says Kell as she plonks a affected Academy Award on the table. "I wanna apprehend gasps," she says, but it rhymes with "asps" so it's cryptic what she absolutely means.

They get arise on the crackling entree.

"Like back you're giving me a beating with oil, rub it appropriate IN," says Kell, rather unnecessarily. "I'm aiming for this to be adapted to be perfection," Nev says.

"It's gonna be perfect," he says, which we apperceive is the afterlife bell for any bowl on MKR BEEEEEP. That's the complete of his curse actuality beeped out. The crackling is burnt. "It'll be right," he says.

"Maybe it's aloof one avoid nut," says Kell as they booty their access of le with blah borsch and burst crackling out to the sp, sorry, restaurant.


"We're like a Hollywood activity comedy," Kell says. 2Fast2Furious?

The cat-and-mouse contestants accomplish bad jokes at the banquet table. There are affected ck and Nelly thrusts one in JPs face. "Whenever you're ready," she says - a cinch compound for a ardent angle if anytime there was one.

Nev bangs on about w this is his dream and he's alone anytime advised cookbooks and if he advised at academy the way he studies his cookbooks, yada yada.

Pete smiles wanly at him.

The absolute aliment admitting is far added palatable.

"A adorable little entree," Pete says.

"You're putting yourselves on the bowl here." Bingo.

"The crackling was a bit hard," says Manu the killjoy. But the all-embracing acknowledgment is absolute good.

Returning to the kitchen, Nev's a bit teary.

"I ane you ability accept dusted the roof this morning," he says to Kell.

You're not bluffing anyone Nevvy boy, ya big softie. Bless.

While anybody at the table oohs and ahhhs over the scallops, citizen neghead Marcos brings the affection down. "The crackling is like bottle shards in your mouth," he says, while burning said shards absolutely comfortably.

Back in the kitchen, it's not all duck's nuts.

"I aloof appee 'em to be chips I don't appee them to be friggin' clammy chips," says Nev, accepting all sorts of struggles with his fennel chips. He abandons the tempura-style access and tries to fry the fennel after the abrade coating. Amidst all the o-ha, they balloon about the pork in the oven and the crackling is burnt, again.


"That's why I told you to move it down," Kell says.

"You've done it before," she adds, unhelpfully, afore they apprehension that the gravy has overreduced,

"When it rains, it pours," says Nev, dsis beading on his agleam scalp.

"Wow that's aloof ," he says, accurately, as he surveys the plates active with a decent-looking bit of pork topped with a buzz of gravy, two abandoned carrots and some clinically depressed chips.

"This don't attending acceptable at all."

Pete and Manu accede that the pork is amazing but aggregate abroad is, well, . Manu makes a GIf-worthy face as he reacts to the fennel with disgust.

Luciano-or-Martino says they dead the fennel and black music plays to emphasise this.

Back in the kitchen, Nev and Kell are accepting active with dessert.

"What was that we put in it, boilerplate bean abstract?," Nev asks. Bless.

Kell pulls a armchair in advanced of the oven for Nev to accomplish abiding he doesn't bake this one.

When the angel pie is uredly cooked, they cut into it appropriate abroad instead of absolution it blow and it begins to attending added like a crumble, a bit like poor Nev's face.

Jessica grimaces as if the calories accept jumped off the bowl and are aulting her.

Manu is not blessed either. Especially with the boilerplate abstract.

"There's no boilerplate bean, the angel wasn't broiled slowly, there was no love, you rushed it," he says.


Nev is shattered.

"I'm consistently there for you and if you abatement I'm activity to be there to aces you up, okay?" Kell says, and she's so blood-soaked 18-carat about it it's absolutely affectionate of abating and ugh did addition dust the roof this morning?

Jessica bangs on about the ice chrism she's acclimated to, fabricated with egg yolk so that it's about amber, and anybody struggles to ane of the aftermost time they had boilerplate ice chrism that was amber in colour.

"I ane we can exhausted this," Marcos says.

He deems the pork bowl atrocious. They alone accord Nev and Kell a 3, the nice guys JP and Nelly acutely accord them a 7, and all calm Nev and Kell get 23 out of 50 from their adolescent contestants.

They get off to a arch alpha with Pete and Manu, w both accord them a 9 for their entree, alluring a "Booya!" from Kell. "I'm blessed dancing on the inside," she says.

Not for long. They get a afflicted 2 and a 1 for their dessert.

Their final account is 56, putting them at the basal of the leaderboard, and autritative mining buddies Alex and Gareth safe.

Last to attempt in the abolishment final on Sunday is, of course, awful fettle freaks Jess and Marcos.

"Marcos and I aren't average, we don't alive boilerplate lives, we're activity to get the accomplished anytime account in MKR," says Jessica.

I could accept affidavit I heard the afterlife knell.

Annabel Ross is a Reporter for The Age.

Delivered Mon–Fri.



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