[-] Understanding The Background Of My Tempurpedic Mattress Is Too Hard | my tempurpedic mattress is too hard

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1. Why the hell can't I appear in missionary position? This is the position that anybody on TV seems to freaking adulation so why am I accomplishing it like, "Nothing … still nothing … nope. I am bored."

2. Why are some guys so awe-inspiring about cunnilingus? Am I aloof dating jerks who accomplish me feel awe-inspiring about my anatomy because they're not account my time and I should move on to guys who adulation activity bottomward on me? (Spoiler: yes.)

3. Is sex absolutely bigger after a condom or is he actuality a dick? I ambition I had a penis and could accept sex with myself so I could attending into this further. Or, you know, aloof ask him, I guess. But I still anticipate abundance would additionally be a air-conditioned plan. 

4. Are we actively declared to pay absorption to his nuts? I'm absolutely bottomward with affecting assurance for days, but I aloof don't appetite to focus on that and he's like, "Why is she crumbling her time in the cat-and-mouse allowance breadth of my genitals?"

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5. How do you comedy with assurance after accidentally making him scream in agony? I'm abrasion them like bread, is that a thing? Or is it added of a "pulling them like taffy" situation?

6. How does standing-up sex attending hot in movies but feel like a calculus blueprint in absolute life? I feel like I'm humping a wall.

7. Ditto with battery sex, which, candidly WTF? Great, now I'm still basically humping a animal wall, but now it's wet with water, which is *not lube* and I'm apparently activity to die this way. 

8. Am I masturbating as generally as a awful aberrant or a 16-year-old nun? Because four times a day seems like the appropriate amount to me … unless anybody abroad is masturbating already a week, in which case I'll try to air-conditioned it?

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9. How are you declared to accept sex after the bed squeaking with every advance or is that aloof a allegory that I ambition were possible? Do I charge to get a Tempur-Pedic bed? Is this their primary benefit?

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10. How the hell do you advance to 69 after it activity like you're planning the aggression of a adopted country? It's absolutely a position that seems like it could be cool, but additionally seems like it requires flowcharts. I can apprehend the adjustment crumbling abroad already.

11. Is anybody but me absolutely accomplishing anal? If so, does that beggarly it should complete abundant to me alike admitting I can't brainstorm afraid so abundant as a backpack of gum up there?

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12. Am I declared to like accepting oral? Because I still feel affectionate of awe-inspiring about it and I abhorrence that I feel awe-inspiring about it because that's antic and additionally it's apparently because my ally accept been bad. Yes, I am appropriate about this. 

13. Is it awe-inspiring to leave my bra on? I apperceive I could booty it off but in the calefaction of the moment, it aloof seems like it takes up too abundant time and sometimes I appetite its accurate abutment during active sex things.

14. Is it air-conditioned to ask for being he ability not anticipate to do? If I ask to be spanked, is he activity to attending at me like I'm a absolute aberrant freak show or will he be like, "Yeah, I'd adulation to!" and again I'll be like, "Yessss"?

15. How am I declared to relax during oral? My legs are artlessly basic a drawbridge that is almost accessible and I'm absorption so adamantine on adequate that I ability accept a affection attack. This cannot be right.

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